5 Things You Want To Say To Your Roommate And What You Should Actually Say

By Madison White on July 19, 2016

For many young people, having your own place may be ideal but it certainly isn’t feasible. You need someone to split the rent and bills with, otherwise you’ll be way short of cash. It is very unlikely that your roommate, or roommates, will live in an identical way to you no matter how great you get along.

Before you move in, try and make sure that your living styles are at least somewhat similar. An extremely messy person won’t fare well living with a super tidy one and vice versa. People that have similar living styles work out best.

But regardless of how similar you are, problems will inevitably arise. In living situations, most of the problems can be solved easily and productively just by phrasing them correctly. You don’t have to sacrifice your happiness just to please your roommate because you can effectively work through problems. Here are five examples of what you want to say to your roommate and what you should actually say:

1. What you want to say: You’re a slob.

What you should say: Hey, would you mind taking out the trash/washing up this week?

The absolute worst way to resolve issues is to target the other person. If you make it seem like you’re placing all the blame on them, they’re likely to become defensive and angry. They also may do the exact opposite of what you want. Instead of forcing them to do something, ask them nicely to and when they do the task, make sure to thank them even if it should be their duty anyway. This will reinforce them to help out without being pushy and forceful.

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2. What you want to say: You’ve eaten all our food and now I’m starving.

What you should say: Would you mind picking up some milk and food on the way home? Our fridge is looking scarce.

Much like the first way to phrase something, make what you want them to do seem convenient for them. If you know that they’re going to the store or that it’s on the way home, make picking something up seem simple and easy so they don’t think they’re going out of their way. This way, it won’t seem unfair. If they’re still questioning it, offer to pick something up the next time or offer to go shopping with them so you can split the bill.

If they’re still dodging it, try making them two offers that work for you, like: would you want to stop by and grab some food on the way home or do you want me to go shopping with you? They’re involved in either decision they make which helps you out.

3. What you want to say: You are way too loud.

What you should say: I’ve got something big going on tomorrow, could you keep it down after 10?

Sometimes our sleeping schedules don’t align with our roommates’ and that’s perfectly alright. It is, however, far less alright when you’re sleep deprived the night before a big test. To combat this issue, talk to your roommate about your schedules at the start of each week. If they’re aware that you have important things to do, they should know ahead of time to be respectful or make plans elsewhere. If they’re trying to have friends over, suggest making plans ahead of time for the weekend or days that you don’t need to wake up early.

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4. What you want to say: You’re hogging the bathroom.

What you should say: I’ve noticed our schedules clash in the mornings, do you think we could work something out?

Again, lots of roommate problems can be solved simply by talking about them ahead of time. If you’ve noticed that bathroom time isn’t working out according to plan, try and find something that works for both of you. Try and see if one of you is willing to shower at night or wake up a little earlier in the mornings. This will save you the anger and competition of trying to score the bathroom every morning and reduce bad feelings.

5. What you want to say: You never pay rent on time.

What you should say: Hey, I’m taking my rent check over soon, would you like me to take yours?

Try saying this a few days before rent is due so that paying the rent is on their radar. If they’re forgetful, this should spark their memory so the check is less likely to be late. Also, this is you doing a favor for them so hopefully they’ll feel apt to take you up on their offer. Even if they don’t, just the mention of it may help the rent problem disappear.

By being mindful of your words, living with someone else doesn’t have to be a nightmare. As long as you can both be respectful and willing to compromise with one another, your living situation should be a breeze.

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