Gay 4 Pay: A Story

By John Wong on January 26, 2015

The following is a semi-true account of real events. Names have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals involved.

It’s not like I had much of a choice. My mother told me I was too much of a burden and stopped supporting me financially. She’d even gone as far as charging me rent, but I had no job to earn the rent money. My father passed away when I was only six from a rare form of colon cancer. I don’t remember much about him, but I miss him so much right now.

My mother and I fight everyday, and my two older brothers, Skylar and Donnie aren’t much help either. Skylar once threatened to set me on fire if I didn’t give him five dollars for a bottle of aftershave I owed him, and Donnie has cerebral palsy. I love him, but because his treatment sets the family back so much financially, my mother is a consistent emotional wreck, even going so far as becoming the neighborhood call girl.

I remember one Monday morning after coming home from school, my mother was sitting in the living room with the TV on mute, a bottle of Southern Comfort sitting half-empty on the bureau next to her. She was drunk and I knew it. She asked me why I didn’t show up to class last Thursday, because several of my friends had called home wondering where I was after I didn’t show up for classes and wasn’t in my dorm.

I couldn’t tell her the real reason – that I had taken a train to the city and spent that Thursday filming scenes for Broke Boys, a gay porn website. It features men, gay or straight, in need of cash who are willing to do “anything” to make a few bucks. To anyone skeptic about the truth behind those, when you watch them, let me tell you-they’re real. I mean, for most guys. Some are actors but you can get real guys who need money. I came into the studio thinking I was  meant for this. Prior to agreeing to shooting this scene, I was sure I was straight. The problem was that filming them finally made me realize who I really am.

My roommate Kyle was probably the biggest factor in my decision to do gay porn. I met him freshmen year and we just decided to live together again sophomore year. We became great friends after meeting. We both had similar habits. We both pledged the same fraternity – and promptly dropped. Later in the year, he came out to me as gay. It took me off guard a bit at first, but I somehow could’ve seen it from a mile away.

I didn’t look at him differently after that either. In fact, I was about to tell him I was gay too. My fascination with him had began the instant I laid eyes on his perfectly-trimmed, Dutch body and felt myself swimming through his sharp blue eyes. Kyle ended up bringing a few guys back during the year. He would always joke with me about how I never bring girls home, followed by a playful wink. I laughed along but was secretly annoyed about how I could never close the deal.

As the year came to a close, the situation with my family got worse and worse. I wanted to continue at Emory but I couldn’t afford it. Kyle tried to help me come up with a solution but we had no idea except one that he came up with: porn.

I invited Kyle out with me and a few other friends to go out to the bars in Atlanta one night. What happened that night was surreal. Kyle and I were talking and laughing with each other more than usual, and several times throughout the night, I almost went in for the kiss – even if just a little peck on the cheek. I just wanted to do something to show that whenever I got a good look at him, my heart rate shot up and the blood went flowing south. Then, after a seemingly endless flow of overpriced brews at Wrecking Bar, Kyle brought me aside to talk. The next thing I knew, we weren’t talking.

I woke up the next morning and I saw my roommate, one of my best friends from college, lying on my bed, completely naked, with the covers over himself. I shook Kyle awake, and held his hand for what felt like twenty minutes. Did I finally bump uglies with the love of my life, Kyle? I had no words.

But then, a startling realization happened. I had been cash-strapped for as long as I can remember, and if my mother wasn’t going to support me financially or emotionally, I decided I would have no other choice. Kyle and I laid there, telling each other how we always had feelings for each other, it was only a matter of time before someone would say or do something about it. Then I told him about the creeping feeling in the back of my mind: I wanted to start having sex with him on camera for money.

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At first Kyle didn’t know what to say. But I knew his situation very well. He had come from an impoverished background, was orphaned by the age of 3, and his aunt and uncle had nothing much to offer him either. He agreed after I told him that if he did just one scene with me, we would use some of the money we made on cerebral palsy research.

It sounds unfortunate – using money made from gay porn for medical research – but I needed the money, and fast. On that Thursday morning, Kyle and I cut class and arrived in Midtown Atlanta at around noon. We walked past the bustling streets of a busy afternoon workday and ducked into an office building marked “Crain Enterprises.”

After all the paperwork was filed and we were both proven to be free of any STDs, it was time. Kyle and I disrobed and had our way with each other. The fact that it was on camera surprisingly didn’t affect me as much as I thought it would. Yes, there was a cameraman present, and yes, some of the sex was a bit dramatized for entertainment purposes. But other than that, it all felt so natural for me. I could tell it was the same way with Kyle.

I never told my mom what I did. I just said I was sick. She grew more suspicious, but with the money coming in she had no reason to raise a concern. My colleague and I are loving living together this year. This solution really has helped solve my problems. I don’t have to worry about money anymore. And emotionally, my insecurities are gone. Was it fast? Yes. But I wouldn’t change a thing.

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